Dicks Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this boy who was literally retarted. He asked his sister everything. He heard his mother and father arguing. His mother called his father a bastard and his father called his mother a bitch. He asked his sister what bitches and bastards meant. And she said ladies and gentlemen. He overheard them having make up sex. His mother said gimme your dick. His father said gimme your tits. He asked his sister what dicks and tits are. She said hat and coats. His father was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. He cut his finger and said fuck. He asked his sister what fuck meant. She said cutting the turkey. His mother was in the bathroom putting make up on her face. She messed up and said shit. HE asked his sister what was shit. She said putting make up on your face. The doorbell rang. He answered it and said." Hello Bitches, and bastards can I have your tits and dicks. My father is in the kitchen fucking the turkey and his mother is putting shit all over her face."

Two dicks were sitting together one day and talking. The first one says, "
I like my master, he plays with me."
The second one speaks out and says, "
Well, I don't like my master, because he sticks me in and out of a cave and I end up throwing up."

There were three men who died and went to hell; a white man, a Japanese man, and a black man. The devil said that if he could hold their dicks in his hands without them melting, he would let them go to heaven. If their dicks melted, they would have to stay in hell for enternity.

So the devil took the white man's dick into is hands. It melted.

Then the devil took the Japanese man's dick into his hands. It also melted.

Last, he took the black man's dick into his hand. It didn't melt.

Confused, the devil asked, "Why didn't your dick melt in my hand?"

The black man replied, "Because chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands."

there are these three guys that want to go into surgury to enhance thier dicks.
the first guy goes to the doctor and asks what he gots.
the doc says a wood one a metel one and a 12 inche one.
the first guy gets the wood one the second guy gets metel one and the third guy gets the 12 inch one.
And about a week later the first guy complains to the doc and says see that girl over there... i gave her splinters
The next guy says see that girl over there...i gave her a rash
And the last guy goes to the doc and says see that girl over there... i got her good!!!