Dicks Jokes

A mother and a father were fighting calling each other bitches and bastards. When there 5 year old son walked in and asked what bitches and bastards meant. The parents said it was a very nice way to say ladies and gentlemen.
The next day the parents were feeling horny and were saying boobs and dicks. Their son walked in and asked what it meant. They replied it means coat and hats.
The next day was thanksgiving and the father was shaving, he cut himself and yelled shit! The son walked in and asked what it meant. The father replied its the brand of shaving creme.
That same day the mother was cutting the turkey and she cut herself. She yelled FUCK! The son walked in and asked what it meant. The mother replied it meant cutting the turkey.
The doorbell rang and the boy opened the door. The boy announced, "Good evening Bitches and Bastards, please hang up your boobs and dicks on the coat rack while my dad is wiping the shit off his face and my mother is fucking the more...

if there were a hundred dicks on the wall which would you choke on
pro none of them
medium pro 50
amateur every dam one

There was this boy who was literally retarted. He asked his sister everything. He heard his mother and father arguing. His mother called his father a bastard and his father called his mother a bitch. He asked his sister what bitches and bastards meant. And she said ladies and gentlemen. He overheard them having make up sex. His mother said gimme your dick. His father said gimme your tits. He asked his sister what dicks and tits are. She said hat and coats. His father was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. He cut his finger and said fuck. He asked his sister what fuck meant. She said cutting the turkey. His mother was in the bathroom putting make up on her face. She messed up and said shit. HE asked his sister what was shit. She said putting make up on your face. The doorbell rang. He answered it and said." Hello Bitches, and bastards can I have your tits and dicks. My father is in the kitchen fucking the turkey and his mother is putting shit all over her face."

There were three men who died and went to hell; a white man, a Japanese man, and a black man. The devil said that if he could hold their dicks in his hands without them melting, he would let them go to heaven. If their dicks melted, they would have to stay in hell for enternity.

So the devil took the white man's dick into is hands. It melted.

Then the devil took the Japanese man's dick into his hands. It also melted.

Last, he took the black man's dick into his hand. It didn't melt.

Confused, the devil asked, "Why didn't your dick melt in my hand?"

The black man replied, "Because chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands."

Two dicks were sitting together one day and talking. The first one says, "
I like my master, he plays with me."
The second one speaks out and says, "
Well, I don't like my master, because he sticks me in and out of a cave and I end up throwing up."