Dime Jokes / Recent Jokes
Four retired guys are walking down a street in Miami Beach. Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says "Old Timer's Bar ". .." ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS! ".
They look at each other then go in. On the inside, they realize in this case, they should not judge the' book by its cover.'
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gentlemen?"
There seems to be a fully-stocked bar, so the men all ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis - shaken not stirred - and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please." The four men stare at the bartender for a moment then look at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying,. ......"That's 40 more cents, more...
John is down on his luck in Las Vegas. He has gambled away all his money and has to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happens to be open and he uses the dime in a slot machine and hits the jackpot.
He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his small winnings into a million dollars.
Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, John goes on the lecture circuit, where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he is eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man he will share his fortune with him.
After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the dime."
"You aren't the one I'm looking for. I mean the guy who left the door open!"
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand-- it being hot and him being thirsty-- he decided to stop. once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents", well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway.Well, he gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. so he slapped it back onto the table and says, "fill' er up." and the kid says, "sure thing, that'll be 10 cents."To this the business man says, "but your sign says all you can drink for a dime.""It is," the little boy replies, "that's all you can drink for a dime."
One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime, to the second a dime, and to the third a nickel. What time was it? A quarter to three.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dime.
Dime who?
Dime to tell another knock-knock joke!
Two youths, newly arrived in ancient Crete, were on their way to consult the Delphic oracle when one stopped to admire a rather aristocratic woman who was entering the royal palace. "Come on, Oedipus," his friend sneered. "She's old enough to be your mother."
The Martian^
The Martian landed his saucer in Manhattan, and immediately upon emerging was approached by a panhandler. "Mister," said the man, "can I have a dime?"
The Martian asked, "What's a dime?"
The panhandler thought a minute, then said, "You're right! Can I have a quarter?"