Diner Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion
for baked beans. He loved them, but unfortunately, they had
always had a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively effect on
him. Then, one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it
became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself,
"She is such a sweet and gentle girl, she would never go for this
carrying on." So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work.
Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her
he would be late because he would have to walk home. On his way,
he passed a little diner and the odor of baked beans was more
than he could stand. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he could walk off any ill effects by the time he got
home. So, he stopped at the diner. Before he knew it, he had
consumed three large helpings more...
The discovery of fly in the soup can mean different reponses to different diners in different countries.
In France the soup if eaten and the fly is left high and dry on the side of the plate.
In Enlgand the fly is quietly and discreetly removed and hidden under a serviette.
In Australia the soup is sent back to the kitchen, the fly is removed and the same soup returned.
In America the soup and the fly are subpoenaed as evidence for the ensuing litigation.
In Italy the diner storms into the kitchen and cuts up the chef.
In the Orient the fly is eaten first and washed down by the soup.
In Scotland the fly is wrung out and then the soup is consumed.
In Israel the bill is quickly amended. The fly is extra.
In India the diner complains; "Waiter, what's this? Only one fly?"
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.
As they read the menu the waitress comes over and asks Clinton, "Are you ready to order?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!?" The waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu." She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Bill, it's pronounced 'Quiche.'"
Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager. A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either. Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? A: The outside. Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A: A walkie-talkie, of course. Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds? A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable. Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs. Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails? A: To the retail store. Q: What kind of dog tells time? A: A watch dog.
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
Diner: Whats wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Dont ask me. I only laid the table.
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.