Discrimination Jokes / Recent Jokes
Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go."
Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."
Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."
Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age
discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."
...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male
employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."
Cindy Crawford:
"Well... Looks aren't everything."
Yassar Arafat:
"Discrimination? I'll give you discrimination! Israel has over 5 million Jews; we don't have any."
Madonna:
"I didn't have a bit of trouble with the singing in the movie, but they did have to dub in most of the acting."
Mayor Smoke (Baltimore):
"There are so many muggers around that you can't walk 5 blocks without leaving the scene of a crime."
William Clinton:
"Any President who lies to the American people should resign." (Oh wait! He did say that - never mind)
Steven Spielberg:
"I just finished my new horror film. It's so bloody, it's sure to get a 'Type A' rating."
Kenneth Starr:
"I only look at the newspapers every other day. That way, I don't have to read any of the denials."
Boris Yeltsin:
"I never worry about waking up to a revolution. If I wake up, there's no more...
The following is an excerpt of an article in the April issue of Saturday Night magazine by John Fraser the (now) former editor.
For those who don't know, the province of Ontario has set in place a policy of "zero tolerance" for harassment and discrimination at universities. This excerpt really pokes fun at the potential misuse and abuse of such a policy.
Dear H & D officer,
I am a female graduate student with an alternative lifestyle. Our history department has invited an international scholar named Simon Schama to lecture here next month. The title of his talk is "Dykes and Discord: The role of land reclamation in 17th century Dutch domestic policy." Posters have been plastered all over our campus, causing snickering, and I have been made to feel uneasy. Does the FRAMEWORK have any remedy?
You bet it does! There is "zero tolerance" for anything that makes you feel a loss of self-esteem, and the FRAMEWORK clearly states the "visitors more...
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did.
Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did.
Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.''
The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did. Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did. Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.'' The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''