Sandbox Jokes

Little Johnny and Jane are playing in a sandbox. Little Johnny has to go to take a pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say Jane to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.

So he turns to Jane and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back Jane looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said Little Johnny stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says Jane, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"

A Little Johnny went to sit on Santa's lap, and Santa asked him what he wanted
for Christmas.

Little Johnny answered, "A damn swingset in the backyard."

"Excuse me?" said Santa.

"I want a damn swingset in my backyard," repeated Little Johnny.

Santa said, "You'll have to ask nicer if you want Santa to bring you something.
Let's try again. What else do you want?"

Little Johnny answered, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."

"You have to ask politely! One more time. What else do you want for Christmas?"

Little Johnny thought for a minute, then said, "I want a damn trampoline in
the front yard."

Santa sighed and set Little Johnny off his lap. "I'm sorry son, I can't give
anything to someone who talks like you do. I'm not bringing you anything for
Christmas."

Santa then called Johnny's more...

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did.
Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did.
Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.''
The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did. Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did. Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.'' The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today.' 'Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said,' 'If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did. Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did.' 'I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said.' 'If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did. Then the little Russian boy said,' 'Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.'' The teacher said,' 'Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''