Dish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Martha Stewart vs Me...Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and more...
Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you,
S. Berman----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Room 635,I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left more...
Santa and Banta, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant.
While looking at the menu, Banta noticed Santa looking at the vegetarian section of the menu.
"What would you like Santa?" he asked.
"I'm looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish," Santa replied.
"Santa, you like meat and potatoes. You won't like that dish," Banta said.
"What do you know," answered Santa, "I'm getting it."
"Santa, I'm telling you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy. You won't like it!" Banta exclaimed.
"I'm getting it and that is the last word!" says Santa.
A short while later the meals arrive at the table.
Santa looks down and his dish and says to Banta, "Where are my eggs?" SantaBanta
Poor Santa ! "Santa and his girlfriend were out driving one day. He noticed that she kept looking at him and smiling.
Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Can you drive more...
Santa and Banta, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant.
While looking at the menu, Banta noticed Santa looking at the vegetarian section of the menu.
"What would you like Santa?" he asked.
"I’m looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish," Santa replied.
"Santa, you like meat and potatoes. You won’t like that dish," Banta said.
"What do you know," answered Santa, "I`m getting it."
"Santa, I`m telling you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy. You won’t like it!" Banta exclaimed.
"I’m getting it and that is the last word!" says Santa.
A short while later the meals arrive at the table.
Santa looks down and his dish and says to Banta, “Where are my eggs? ”