Dishwasher Jokes

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Dishwasher.
Dishwasher Who?
Dishwasher whay I sphoke vhefore I hafe fawse feeth
(This was the way I spoke before I had false teeth)

Knock.Knock.
WHO'S There?
Dishwasher.
Dishwasher who?
Dishwasher way I talked before I got my new Teeth.

The family had finally gotten their first dishwasher. The father liked to inspect every new thing that cam into the house, so he stayed in the kitchen and watched the display count down all forty-four minutes of the dishwashing cycle.

Suddenly he called out for his wife, shouting, "It's useless, the dishwasher is useless!"

The wife was amazed that the newest appliance could be broken after only one use, but he insisted that because they had a water softener, the dishwasher was useless.

She decided to look for herself, and there it was, on the inside door, next to the detergent dispenser:

USE LESS WITH SOFT WATER

a blonde walks into an applience store and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience store guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out dies her hair red and comes back in and asks can i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out and gets her hair died brown comes back and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy says no sorry i cant sell you that because your a blonde the blonde says how do you know i am a blonde he says because thats not a dishwasher its a microwave.

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird! ”
Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.
As he was ready to leave, he couldn’t resist saying, “You stupid bird, why don’t you shut up! ”
To which the bird replied, “Killer, get him!!! ”