Dishwasher Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A. Yell at her.

The family had finally gotten their first dishwasher. The father liked to inspect every new thing that cam into the house, so he stayed in the kitchen and watched the display count down all forty-four minutes of the dishwashing cycle.

Suddenly he called out for his wife, shouting, "It's useless, the dishwasher is useless!"

The wife was amazed that the newest appliance could be broken after only one use, but he insisted that because they had a water softener, the dishwasher was useless.

She decided to look for herself, and there it was, on the inside door, next to the detergent dispenser:

USE LESS WITH SOFT WATER

Knock.Knock.
WHO'S There?
Dishwasher.
Dishwasher who?
Dishwasher way I talked before I got my new Teeth.

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird! ”
Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.
As he was ready to leave, he couldn’t resist saying, “You stupid bird, why don’t you shut up! ”
To which the bird replied, “Killer, get him!!! ”

You might be a redneck if you think loading the dishwasher means getting the wife drunk!

Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman.
He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check."
"By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen.
But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.
However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot more...

a blonde walks into an applience store and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience store guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out dies her hair red and comes back in and asks can i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out and gets her hair died brown comes back and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy says no sorry i cant sell you that because your a blonde the blonde says how do you know i am a blonde he says because thats not a dishwasher its a microwave.