Ditch Jokes / Recent Jokes
Shane Battier believes the NBA should ditch its All-Star Game. Or at least invite him to one.
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we& down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is up there in the shade of a tree? ”& “I don’t know, ” replied the other, “I’ll go ask him. ”
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. “Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standig& in the shade? ”& “Intelligence, ” the boss said.& “What’s intelligence? ” asked the digger.
The boss said, “I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist& as hard& as you can. ” The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, “That’s intelligence! ”
The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, “What’d he say? ”& “He said we& are down here because of intelligence. ”& “What’s intelligence? ” his friend asked. The ditch digger put his more...
Q. Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A. To turn the blinker off
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. "Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
3) I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.
4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7) I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way.
8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.
11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and more...
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Buddy didnt move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull." Buddy didnt respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Jennie, pull." Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull." And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldnt even try!"
1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.3) I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.7) I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way.8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.12) I was on my way to the doctors more...