Dock Jokes / Recent Jokes

Every morning a man drives to the dock, and every morning a man takes the ferry to work. One morning he woke up, and had no electricity. He had no idea what time it was, and he thought that he was late for work. So he quickly got dressed, ate breakfast, and rushed out the door. He got to the dock and saw the boat ten feet away. So he got a running head start, and jumped as far as he could, and luckily landed on the boat. The captain of the boat saw his commotion, and said to him, "You know, if you had waited five minutes, we would have been in."

They should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like "Excuse me. .. oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California, our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?"

"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago, I went fishing with a buddy of mine.

We pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big' ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked' em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was playing with his little friend. He had hit his more...

Twinkle, twinkle little star how I wonder what you are
Shine upon a parking lot
As I eat my girlfriends twat.
Peter, Peter pumpkin eater
Saw a chick but couldn't meet her
Saw her brother one fine day
Sucked his cock and now he's GAY.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So he ignored her flabby tits
An licked her asshole clean.
Eenie Meanie Miney Mo
Suck my dick and swallow slow.
Mary Mary quite contrary
Shave that pussy its so damn hairy.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two I blew my goo
And dumped the bitch off at the next block.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
It was quite scary
all wrinkled and hairy.

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I dont recognize this court!""Why?" asked the Judge."Because youve had it decorated since the last time I was here."

A young lawyer decided that his life needed a hobby. Since his buddies talked about sailing, he thought he'd give it a go.
He went to the local boat show and asked a lot of questions. Everything seemed to be going well when he said, "How do you dock the boat?" The salesman replied, "Well, you really don't dock the sailboat, you tie it up to a float just beyond the dock. This way you don't bang up the finish on the craft."
"Well then," the lawyer asked, "How do you get out to the sailboat?"
"Good question." The salesman told him. "You can get a small raft and paddle out to the boat, or you can just walk out to the boat, if you don't mind getting wet.

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign." It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign." A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big' ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "No - We talked' em into giving up. Here's your sign." I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark more...

Hickory hickory dock. The mouse ran up the clockThe clock struck oneBut the rest got away with minor injuries