Dogs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dogs love it when you friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs love red meat.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
A dog would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than more...

A Collection of Lawyer Jokes



An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the more...

Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every
word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
Cats look silly on a leash.
When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and
lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in
the first place.
Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they
die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever
made since the day you were born.
A dog knows when you're sad. And he'll try to comfort
you. Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember
where the can opener is.
Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead
mouse in your slippers.
When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat
next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or
they won't go at all.
Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy.
Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
Dogs will play fetch with you more...

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? - A: Because you cant bury them in the sky!

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says tothe other, "I hearthat the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in oil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their dogs. The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them.
You have ever had to climb up on the roof of an out building to get down any fowl that was frozen to the roof.
You have ever worried more about the outbuildings freezing than your vehicles.

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend asked, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."