Dollar Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into thecoke machine at a large Vegas casino. She keptpunching the buttons only to have happen what you'dexpect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so wentand got more. Back at it she went, blocking the wayto the other vending machines with the mounting pileof soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to theyoung lady. People were starting to gather, seeing this beautifulwoman enthusiastically plugging money in like it wasfun. The people were gathering more though waiting theirturn at the machines. After watching a while, someone asked from the rear ofthe group,' Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?'' Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts,' can't you see I'mwinning here?'
Horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper. The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the beer, and brings it over to the horse, who proffers a ten dollar bill for it.
Now the barman figures the horse isn’t that bright, so he decides to pull the old ’short-change’ trick on him. He duly goes back to the horse with 1 dollar. The horse doesn’t say a word.
The horse eventually finishes his beer and goes up to the bar to order another. The bartender says to him, “Y’know, we don’t get many horses in here. ”
To which the horse replies, “At nine dollars a beer, I’m not surprised! ”
a man finding himself unemployed and down to his last $1.00 was searching the want ads for a job. He pointed out to his wife that there was a ad in the paper for blood donations for $25.00 dollars. They decided to spend their last dollar on bus fair to the blood bank. They needed the money if they were going to eat. So the man spends his last dollar on the bus to town. When he arrived at the blood bank the line was a block long. He knew he had to wait so he could collect his money for the donation. while waiting in line he noticed a banner on the bulding across the street. " GRAND OPENING SPERM BANK " Donations $50.00 Dollars! He begain to think, "if i stand here they will stick me with a needle and it will hurt but....if i go across the street i will go into a booth and... besides it was twice the money!!!
So he hurrys across the street and gets in line at the sperm bank. After a few minutes he notices in front of him a woman...he begins to think..."she must more...
Pres. Bush, (NY) Gov. Cuomo, and (NJ) Gov. Florio are flying on
a plane together. When they passed over New York, Cuomo wrote his
name on two one dollar bills and threw them from the plane. Florio
very curious about this action asked him why he had done it. Cuomo
responded that he had just won two votes.
Florio, not wishing to be outdone, wrote his name on two one hundred
dollar bills and threw them from the plane once they reached New Jersey.
This caught the attention of President Bush, who inquired about this
action. Florio explained about just winning two votes.
A few minutes later, Pres. Bush shoved both Cuomo and Florio from
the plane. The pilot was shocked and asked the President why in the
world he just killed two Governors. The President responded,
"Simple, I just won two states."
Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many "Big Mac" hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany's leading institutes.
The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald's restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies' relative purchasing power.
The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, "baskets" of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.
A simple alternative, now that McDonald's has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.
"A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany more...
A young family moved into a house which was next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew showed up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 6 year old daughter immediately took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope which contained one dollar.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by more...