Dolly Jokes / Recent Jokes
Lady Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them gets in.St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect ones God ever created, and I'm sure it will please him to be able to see them every day for eternity."St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks Diana the same question. Diana drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it.St. Peter says, "OK, Diana, you may go in".Dolly is outraged. She screams, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting, pornographic act, and she gets in and I don't?!!!"Sorry Dolly" says St. Peter, "but a royal flush beats a pair any day."
What do you get when Dolly Parton does the backstroke?
Islands In The Stream.
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the '90's!, he'd beCat Doggy Dogg.If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy DoggPooh.How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him tomarry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.Nog (Quark's brother on more...
Dolly Parton has postponed her upcoming tour due to back problems caused by her breasts.
You’d think at 62 years of age, her breasts wouldn’t be damaging her back, but damaging sidewalks she strolls down.
Dolly Parton's breasts may be two of the wonders of the entertainment world, but the country music icon says they are a pain in her back. Parton, 62, said on Monday she would postpone her upcoming North American tour after doctors told her to take it easy for six to eight weeks to rest her sore back.
You heard right. Dolly Parton is officially on breast rest.
Accountants who don't understand how much it costs to make me look this cheap
Trying to play guitar with three-inch fingernails
When the country declares my hair a fire hazard
Confused Dalai Lama constantly asking for theme park royalties
You can't get a wig repaired because Letterman's got some kind of hairpiece crisis
Rhinestone rash
Whenever he visits my gift shop, Garth Brooks tries to shoplift stuff under that big hat
Smartass emcees who introduce you by saying, "and now here they are - Dolly Parton!"
When the Super Bowl is over, winner never says, "I'm goin' to Dollywood"
Nobody notices I've got a great ass, too