Dominated Jokes

"Alright, everyone," St. Peter says, "You men, form two lines - one line for the men who dominated their women on earth, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women."
They do as they are told. Peter looks up and sees that the line of men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long. In the line of men who dominated their women, there was only one man.
Peter is mad. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. God created you in His image and you were all whipped by your mates. Only one of you has made God proud during your journey on earth. Learn from him!"
Then, addressing the solitary man, Peter says, "Tell the rest how you managed to be the only one in this line."
"I'm not sure," the man says. "My wife told me to stand here."

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.
God comes and says,
'I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also. I want all the women to go with Saint Peter.'
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 160 km long, and in the line of the men who dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said to the 160-km-long line,
'You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and your mates whipped you all. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?'
And the man replied,
'I don't know. My wife told me to stay here.'

The media have grotesquely skewed the public image of women who choose to own firearms. Unfortunately, such exposure can affect one's self-image. This test is offered in the hopes of putting these false images into a more proper perspective. Please circle your answers to each below: 1. What is the real meaning of that pink T-shirt with a revolver on it that says: "The ultimate in feminine protection"? 1. Obviously a plot by seditious gun fanatics from the NRA. 2. I'm amazed the pigs have no law banning women's T-Shirts. 3. A 9mm for "light days" and a. 44 Magnum for "heavy days". 2. For rape and assault prevention, a whistle is: 1. All you'll ever need. 2. Like I'd use yet another phallic symbol. 3. The signal to open Fire. 3. The movie "Thelma & Louise" was: 1. An insidious plot to stamp out femininity and glorify violence. 2. A male ploy to encourage further suppression of women. 3. A training film. 4. What was technically wrong with the scene more...

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?

The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

Men and Women on planet earth die from various places throughout the world at a particular moment in time and go to God's abode to be judged.
The God welcomes this new batch and tries his experimental new judgement trick and says," I want all you humans to form two queues.
One line is for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away from here so that no man and woman can talk and I can talk to men alone."
When the women were gone, the Almighty returns and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is a hundred miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one solitary man.
The God about to open his third eye of anger, thunders, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. more...