Donald Rumsfeld Jokes / Recent Jokes

November 13 - November 19
"The bottom line is, I didn't want to put off pursuing stand-up comedy any longer."

-Donald Rumsfeld, explaining his resignation as Secretary of Defense.

Donald Rumsfeld announced that since he's no longer employed, he'll try to get some Christmas shopping done. Well, he plans on going into a mall, but he has no idea how or when he'll get out.

Donald Rumsfeld is stepping down as Secretary of Defense, screaming, "If I can't play with my bomb, I'm going to go home!!!"

According to sources, the Army Times, the U.S. Army's offical newspaper, is running an astonishing editorial, openly calling for Rumsfeld to resign mere days before an election.
The Army Times comics page is also being critical of the Secretary of Defense, as seen in this Beetle Bailey cartoon...

"Beetle, how many times do I have tell you-
Donald Rumsfeld is incompetent doochebag!"

Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld tearfully announced he will not resign, citing support from President Bush and threats of being shot in the face from Cheney.

"I'm scared shitless of that guy" the Secretary said.

Bush tells Rumsfeld, "sorry, dude, you'll have to crash somewhere else."

So Mr. Rumsfeld has been let go. Sounds like he has a lot of free time now. Let's send him to Iraq to run around and dodge bullets, car bombs and friendly fire. We'll make sure he has the best in military body armor. I have some extra pots, pans and maybe some catcher's equipment.