Donkey Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey; the manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey.
"Anywhere I go, she goes."
"I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was.
"Great!" replied Bozo. "How much do I have to pay?" he asks.
"One thousand dollars for the more...

One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there.He walked up to the farmer and said,"Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it."The farmer replied,"That's not a donkey, that's an ass."So, the man said,"Okay, then, I'll take the ass." Then he walked over to the chicken coup and said,"I like that chicken. I'll take it too."The farmer replied,"That is a pullet."So the man said,"Okay, I'll take the pullet."He was looking at a rooster and said,"Well, I guess I'll take the rooster, too."The farmer replied,"That's not a rooster, it's a cock."So they load the pullet and the cock into the back of the man's truck and tie the ass to the back. The man then pays the farmer as the farmer tells him,"Now, sometimes the ass gets a little stubborn and he stops. All you have to do is get out and scratch his back, and he'll go again."So the man drives more...

A man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the motel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an english speaking local, the couple finally finds an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.
"Excuse me," the husband says, "could you tell us the time?"
"Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and with that he reaches down and lifts the donkey's balls. "It is 3:10", the man exclaims.
"Thank you" replies the wife in a surprised voice. And the couple continues on their way. After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. The couple return to the old man for the time.
Again the elderly man lifts the donkey's balls and says, "It is now 4:45."
By this time the husband is completely amazed. "Please show me how you can tell the time more...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did more...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook.

8. David slew more...

This farmer had a donkey it was a so un happy so he ask this bloke if he could try and make his donkey laugh ok said the bloke he went up to the donkey and whispered something in his ear he stepped back, the donkey started to laugh the farmer could not believe it ok you can make him laugh can you make him cry. The bloke said no problems he went over to the donkey whispered something in his ear then stepped back the donkey started to cry as the bloke was walking of the farmer said hold on one minute how did you make my donkey laugh? The bloke said it was easy I said to the donkey my dick is bigger than yours how did you make him cry I showed it to him.

a man walked into a pub and saw a donkey in a corner with a sign round his neck he asked the barman what it was about he said if u can do it you get the money in the jar near the donkey.so the man went over to the donkey read the sign and whispered in his ear and made him laugh so he took the money.the next nite the man came into the bar and saw the donkey with a different sign so the bar man said the same so he went over and looked at the sign and whispered in his ear and made the donkey cry and took the money, then he was just about to walk out when the barman stopped him and said what did u tell the donkey to win the money twice he said the first time i read the sign it said if u had a bigger cock than him u win money yeah said the barman and man said i did so i took the money and second said the barman i made him cry said the man cos i proved it