Doomsday Jokes

1. My doomsday device would not employ a large red digital countdown device unless it was absolutely necessary. If a countdown device proves to be necessary, the doomsday device will be set to activate when the counter reaches 00:10:00, rather than 00:00:00.
2. My Legions of Terror will have uniforms designed by a talented fashion designer, and will not be a cheap knockoff of the Nazi SS uniform, the roman foot-soilder uniform, or the clothing of the savage Mongol horde. All such groups were eventually defeated, and I want my troops to have a more positive outlook on themselves.
3. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic rifle marksmanship. Any who cannot hit a man-sized target at ten meters will be used for target practice.
4. I will not use any Master Plan for which the final step is horrably complicated (for example: align the 12 stones of power on the sacred alter and activate the medallion durring a total eclipse). Instead, I will use plans that have a final more...