Door Jokes / Recent Jokes

After 30 years of delivering mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, it was the mailman's final day on the job.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, the family was all there to greet him. They all congratulated him, wished him well and sent him on his way with a gift envelope.
The family at the second house presented him with a selection of terrific fishing lure. At the third house, he was given a box of fine cigars.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. Taking him by the hand, she gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she presented him with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough, they went downstairs to the kitchen where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, bacon, potatoes, sausages, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of fresh roasted coffee. As she more...

Hobo shows up at the front door of a grand mansion. The owner comes to the door. Hobo says, "Sir, I am down on my luck and ask if you could please spare me a meal?"
The owner stared at the hobo for a minute and then broke out in a lambasting such as the world has never heard. "You shiftless bum! I worked all my life for what I have and you make me sick, begging for food! How dare you! You should be ashamed!"
The hobo lowered his head in shame. After a minute of silence, the owner began to soften toward the unfortunate man, and said, "Look, if you are willing to do some work for me, I will pay you and give you a meal."
The hobo was ecstatic! "Oh, yes sir! I will do whatever you want. Thank you!" So the owner said, "OK, go around back. You'll see a porch there, and a bucket of battleship grey paint and a brush. Paint the porch, windows included, and you'll have a meal." The hobo wasted no time and scurried around more...

A milkman was making his deliveries and found a note attached to a customers door saying "I need 45 gallons of milk. " He knocked on the door and a beautiful dumb blond answered it.
"Is this a mistake?" the milkman asked.
"No," she said, "I was watching a talk show and it said that bathing in milk is a good aphrodisiac."
"Really," replied the milkman. "Do you want that pasteurized?"
"No, up to my breasts would be fine," she said.

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.
The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"

The bell-ringer for the church had just passed away, so the priest was looking for someone new to ring the bell.
Then one day this man comes out of nowhere and starts banging on the door.
The priest opens the door and sees that the man has no arms.
The priest asks him, "How can you ring the bell?"
The man said, "Let me show you."
So they went up to the top of the bell tower and the man started hitting the bell with his head.
The bell starts to swaying and the man misses, and then he goes flying through the window.
Two more priests come running and ask, "What happened? Who was that?"
The second priest said, "I don't know but that face sure rings a bell!"

Last December, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T."

She continued, "There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in,and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy," replied the grandson, "but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow"?

To which she answered, "You're coming empty handed?"

A hobo (wanderer) comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door.
When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days."
The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch in the back of the house, I will give you a good meal."
So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door.
The owner asks, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in."
The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW..."