Doorstep Jokes

The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door. He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep.
''What do you want?'' asks the owner.
''I want a beer,'' says the snail.
''First of all, we're closed, and second of all, we don't serve snails. So go away!''
The snail begs and pleads for a beer. The owner finally gets fed up, kicks the snail, and slams the door.
ONE YEAR LATER...
The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door. He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep.
''What'd you do that for?'' asks the snail.

A man is sitting down to read the paper when he hears a knock on his door. Upon opening the door the man is confronted by a snail on his doorstep. "Good evening," says the snail, "I'm collecting for the snail benevolent fund. Would you care to make a donation?". The snail gets his reply as the man kicks him into the bushes. Ten years later there's another knock at the door. Again, the man finds a snail on his doorstep. "That wasn't very nice!" exclaims the snail.

There is this good ol' barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen roses waiting at his doorstep. A cop goes for a haircut next and when he goes to pay the barber, the latter replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen donuts waiting at his doorstep. An Indian software engineer goes for a haircut after that and while paying, the barber tells him, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service."
The next morning, when more...

The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep.

"What do you want?" asks the owner.

"I want a beer," says the snail.

"First of all, we're closed, and second of all, we don't serve snails. So go away!"

The snail begs and pleads for a beer.

The owner finally gets fed up, kicks the snail, and slams the door.

ONE YEAR LATER....

The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep.

"What'd you do that for?" asks the snail.

One day the barber gave a priest a haircut. When the priest attempted to pay the barber, he refused the money, saying "You are a priest and do God's work." The next morning, the barber found a dozen bibles on his shop's doorstep.
That day, a policeman came to the barber for a haircut and again the barber refused payment, saying " you protect the public." The following morning the barber found a dozen donuts on his shop's doorstep.
A lawyer then came into the shop for a haircut and again the barber refused his money, saying "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber arrived at his shop and found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.