Doubt Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was an old country sheriff who always said, "It could have been worse." No matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: "It could have been worse." One day, two deputies in the sheriff's office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side. "No doubt about it," one deputy said to the other.
"This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself." "You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here he's going to say "it could have been worse." "No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in the house, and all of them have been shot to more...
Santa is talking to Banta about married life.
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They more...
Santa is talking to Banta about married life.
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there`s always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I`m away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there`s always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get more...
THE local paper had been dropping some pretty hot hints about the conduct of the Lord Mayor and his sexy secretary. Finally a lawyer's letter was sent, and the paper promised to print a bold statement, clearing up the matter. There followed a headline: There is nothing between the
LORD MAYOR AND HIS SECRETARY. The Lord Mayor's lawyer rang up the editor to say:' This will not do; it could be taken two ways. Next week's edition will have to clarify the matter beyond doubt.'
All this time the editor was playing for time; he wanted to get enough on the Lord Mayor to be able to defend a libel action, and he had got it. Therefore he gladly promised to clear the matter beyond doubt. The next edition came out with: Not even a sheet.
When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.
When in doubt, use brute force.
When in trouble, delegate.
When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.
When it's you against the world, bet on the world.
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.
Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy. It's just a question of degree.