Doubt Jokes / Recent Jokes
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Santa is talking to Banta about married life. "You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there`s always that doubt." Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean." A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta. "While I`m away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there`s always that doubt." Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves. Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?" "I have some bad news for you," says Banta. "The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a more...
A defendant was on trial for murder in a case where there was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
Knowing that his client would probably be convicted, the lawyer resorted to a trick during his closing statement.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for all of you," he said, looking at his watch. "In approximately one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
He then looked towards the courtroom door. The jurors, stunned, looked on eagerly. A minute passed and nothing happened.
Finally, the lawyer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I made up the previous statement. However, you all looked on with anticipation. Therefore, I say to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, now clearly confused, retired to deliberate. Within a few minutes, they returned and pronounced a more...
THE BRITISH CONSPIRACY THEORY Just for the sake of argument, hear me out.
I have a theory. Tell me what you think of it:
Diana is alive.
The entire thing was a hoax. The World's Most Photographed Person finally
got them off her back. It took a lot of money and a great deal of
persuasion but Diana and Al-Fayed could easily have supplied both. Check
these facts out:
1. Nobody has seen any images of Diana's corpse.
2. The' eye-witnesses' who claimed to have seen the crash could very well
have been paid to say what they did.
3. The initial' suspects' were the paparazzi. If they were made to seem
responsible for the' accident' then the world would revile them and no-one
would be indecent enough to buy and publish the pictures thus assuring
that no documentary proof of the crash ever gets seen. And even if there
were pictures of Diana in a wrecked Merc they could easily have been
fabricated beforehand, what with more...