Downstairs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk, "Do you live here?" "Yep," replied the drunk. "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" And again the drunk replied, "yep." When they got up on the second floor, the good samaritan asked "Is this your floor?" And once again the drunk replied, "yep."
Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk, "Do you live here?" "Yep," replied the drunk. "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" And agin the drunk replied, "yep." So he did and put him in the same door with the more...

It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge," he squeaks?
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge!," he roars?
Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells - "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?"
"It was 'Momma Bear' who got up first." "It was 'Momma Bear' who woke everybody else in the house up." "It was 'Momma Bear' who made the Coffee." "It was 'Momma Bear' who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away." "It was 'Momma Bear' who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper." "It was 'Momma Bear' who set the more...

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman`s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he`d better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation. This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs--she`s coming downstairs, he`s heading up. "Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide." "I`m glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"

Banta and his wife, Preeto were shocked when Preeto's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again-the strain would be too much.
So Banta and Preeto reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and Banta decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation.
This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs-Preeto is coming downstairs, and Banta is heading up.
"Honey, I have a confession to make," Preeto says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide."
"I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," Banta says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. Whats wrong? asked his mother. Do people really come from dust, like they said in church? he sobbed. In a way they do, said his mother. And when they die do the turn back to dust? . Yes, they do. The little boy began to cry again. Well, under my bed theres someone either coming or going!

There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning. He told her that the couldn't help it. She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out". The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husband continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one Christmas morning. more...

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night.' What's wrong? ' asked his mother. Do people really come from dust, like they said in church? he sobbed.' In a way they do,' said his mother.' And when they die do the turn back to dust? '.' Yes, they do.' The little boy began to cry again.' Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going! '