Dreamed Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.
"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream."
"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life."
His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?"
"Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing."
A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One dayhe has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust. He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar ofVaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must beleft out in the rain. A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. Sheasks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readilyagrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up onhis Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in shetells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks firstafter dinner must do the dishes. After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the firstperson to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteenminutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and more...
A rabbi went to a hotel.It was the only hotel in the town, and they had only a room available,
but it was kept for a priest, since a week before.
Entering the hotel, the priest hears the rabbi
insisting for a room, approach him and politely
propose him to share the room.There were two beds,
so it was enough space for both.Finely, the rabbi
agrees and they slept in the same room that night.
In the morning the priest say to the rabbi:"You
know, I had a very strange dream last night.I dreamed I was in the jewish heaven.It was
almost dark, the streets were dirty, the people
were very poor dressed and they ate some soup
every day, oh, my god, it was terrible!"
The rabbi say:"That is odd, because last
night I dreamed I was in the christian heaven.
It was wonderful, the sky was so blue, and the grass was green, the birds were singing happy songs, there were rivers of milk'n honey, the trees
were full of tasty fruits, more...
There were three men hiking in the mountains and they came upon a cabin. They decided to stay there for the night because it was getting late and it was cold. It was really cold that they all decided to slept in the same bed.
The next day they all woke up and the man to the left said, "
Man I had the weirdest dream, i dreamed that i was getting hand job."
The guy on the far right said that he also had that same dream. And then the man in the middle said, "
That's weird I had a great dream, I dreamed that I was skiing"
.
A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night, I dreamed I was a Trans Am. Another night, I dreamed I was an Alpha Romeo. Last nigh, t I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"
"Relax," says the shrink, "You're just having an auto-body experience."