Drop Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks up to the bartender and says, "I bet you $100 dollars that I can stand on your bar and leak into a jar without spilling a drop."
The bartender laughs and tells him that is it such an impossible bet, he'll take it. So the man stands up on the bar, and cheering to his friends in the back, begins to leak.
He not only misses the jar, but doesn't even get a single drop in. He pisses all over the bar and floor and over the bartender. When he is done the bartender is still laughing and asks the man to give him the hundred bucks. The man hands over the money and smiles at the bartender.
The bartender asks him what is so funny when he just obviously lost so badly. The man replies, " I just bet my friends $1000 that I could leak all over you and your bar and not only would you not mind, but you would find it hilariously funny!".

Martha Stewart vs Me... Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time. My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag. Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes. My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling. My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room more...

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene we must cut it off."The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing."The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem."A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time.""Ya, that will be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before."The German replies, " ya."The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..."The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to more...

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am.... could I see your drivers license...?"

"... What's a license...???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump..

"It's usually in your wallet..." replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.

"Now may I see your registration..." asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that.....?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute..." said the cop more...

School DazeIt was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.The florist`s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That`s right" the boy said, "but how did you know?""Oh, just a wild guess," she said.The next pupil was the candy shop owner`s daughter.The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.""That`s right, but how did you know?" asked the girl."Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue."Is it wine?" she asked."No," the boy replied, with some excitement.The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her more...

One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs and accepts. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it. The bartender grudgingly forks over a twenty.
Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can bite my other eye." Wanting to win back his money and seriously doubtful that the man has two false eyes, the bartender accepts. The man calmly removes his false teeth and bites his other eye. Scowling, the bartender hands over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he drinks a few more beers.
He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win yer money back plus. Betcha $100 if you more...

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,' May I borrow a highlighter?' 2. Say,' Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.' 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say,' Damn, this water's cold.' 5. Drop a marble and say,' Oh shit! My glass eye!' 6. Say,' Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.' 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly. 8. Say,' Now how did that get there?' 9. Say,' Humus. Reminds me of humus.' 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,' Whoa! Easy boy!' 11. Say,' Interesting.. more floaters than sinkers.' 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,' Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?' 13. more...