Drown Jokes / Recent Jokes

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

Q.how do you drown a blonde
A.put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

Q.How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottem of a pool

Q. how do you drown a blonde?
A.put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

A man buys a parrot, but after several weeks of trying is unable to get it to speak a single word. In desperation he takes the bird to the vet. The vet tells him that the parrot has too long a beak and that is stopping him from talking.

"I just need to file it down a bit and he should be alright," he says. The man says that is okay and the vet replies, "It will cost a hundred dollars."

"A hundred bucks!" says the owner. The vet tells him that it is a very delicate procedure. If he does not file it enough, the bird still will not be able to talk but if he files too much, the bird will drown while drinking his water. The man decides to think it over and leaves with his parrot.

The next day he comes back into the vet's shop, looking both sad and puzzled.

"What happened?" said the vet.

"Well, I just couldn't afford the hundred dollars, so I took him into my toolshed and did the filing more...

There's a guy who owns a parrot which never talks. So he goes to the pet shop to get some advice. The pet shop owner says he knows exactly what the problem is. "Your parrot has too much hook in it's beak, what you have to do is file its beak back and it will be able to talk just fine. You've got to be careful not to file it too far though, because if you take too much off the bird will drown the first time it has a drink." The parrot owner asks how much the pet shop guy charges to do this beak modification and he says $100. So the parrot fancier decides he'll do it himself. A week or so later they bump into one another in the street. The pet shop guy enquires how the parrot is and whether it is talking yet? The parrot owner says, "The parrot is dead." Pet shop guy says, "I told you not to file the beak back too far, did he drown when he had a drink?" Ex-parrot owner says, "Heck no, he was dead before I got him out of the vice."

Q: How do you drown a blonde? A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2: Don't tell her to swallow. A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.