Drummer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves at the parade.Q: How do you know if there is a percussionist at the door? A: The knocking gets slower.Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door? A: The knocking gets faster.Q: How do you know when a drum solo's really bad? A: The bass player notices.Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A: A drummer.Q: What do you call a drummer who has just broken up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless.Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test? A: Drool.If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea? A slap happy Jappy, with a crap happy pappy.

A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy personal attention and much advice, but his performance simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section, "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
The knock gets faster.

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

One day the bass player hid one of the drummers sticks. The drummer said, "finally! After being a drummer for so long, now I am a conductor!"