Dumpster Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is a blonde a brunette and a red head and they are being chased by cops. Well they decide to run into an alley.
The brunette jumps into a trash can, the red head jumps into a dumpster and the blonde jumps into a sack of potatos.
The cops run down the alley and notice that nobody is around. One cop kicks the trash can and the brunette says "Meow". Another cop kicks the dumpster and the red head says "Woof". Another cop kicks the sack of Potatos and the blonde says "POTATOS".
A guy walks into a bar and sees a fish tank full of cash in 100's. He walks up to the bartender and asks how he would be able to get that money. The bartender says "well, I have three things for you to do for me. First, theres a guy in a green hat thats been sitting inside my bar and causing trouble, i want you to go out and beat him up and throw him in the back dumpster. Second, theres a dog next to the dumpster that has a sore tooth and has been yelping for help all day, I need you to take care of it. Third, my mom is upstairs in the bedroom. She hasnt had had much "attention" in a while (if you know what I mean), so I'd like for you to help her out on that."
The man agreed.
First, he takes care of the guy in the green hat inside of the bar and takes him outside and tosses him in the dumpster. Meanwhile, inside, the bartender is listening to whats going on outside and hears a whole bunch of yelling and screaming from the dog for a long time. The man comes more...
One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman.
The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy. I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test."
The firechief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire."
The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?"
The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, "I light the dumpster on more...
Two older women were picking up a third friend for their weekly lunch when they accidentally ran over and killed her cat. It wasn't a pretty sight, so rather than leave it for the woman's husband to find, they scooped it into a Foley's bag and took it with them, intending to throw it away in the restaurant's dumpster.Upon their arrival, they discovered that the dumpster was locked. Not wanting to leave the bag in the car, they put in on the ground next to the car and went inside to eat. From their window table they could clearly see the car and bag, and so noticed immediately when a woman walked by the closed bag, looked at it with interest, and went on. In a few minutes she returned, looked a little more closely, glanced around to see if she were being watched, and strolled on. On her third pass, she casually picked up the bag without pausing, and continued on - into the restaurant! She let herself be seated, placed the bag and her purse on the floor next to her chair, and picked up more...