Duty Jokes / Recent Jokes
Policeman(to the watchman): Where were you when the labourer was kidnapped.
Watchman: I was on duty
Policeman: Then why didn't you try to save him.
Watchman: Sir, my duty is to keep watch on the building & not on the men of the building
There is a sinhala letter' gna' as pronounce in' Kompagna Veediya'. No match in English and try to pronounce' gna' as you pronounce the sinhalese letter in the eary school days.
Banada was a very innocent policeman and because of his character he was always assigned to do the road patrol duties in the night shift arround the Pettah vegetable market. He always feel sleepy as there is no activity in the market in his duty hours.
One day early morning he saw a bicycle approching him with few boxes in the back and he thought of stopping this man at least to keep his mood.
Navathapan. Umba koheda yanne me ude pandara?
Sir. Mama elovolu tikak geniyanava.
Boru kiyanna epa Banda ralahamita. Mata umba visvasa neha.
Kiyapan umbe nama.
Mage nama' Pagnasena'
Banda took his patrol duty book and trying to write the name. Tried many times but not that easy for him.
Umbata vena namak nedda.
Ne ralahami.
Hari Adata palayan. heta ehema enna more...
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car
was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there? ”
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General Wheeler. ”
“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve got to have a sticker on the windshield. ”
The general said, “Drive on! ”
The sentry said, “Hold it! You really can’t come through. I have orders to shoot if you
try driving in without a sticker. ”
The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on! ”
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, “General, I’m new at this. Do
I shoot you or the driver? ”
Compiled by Harold Reynolds and updated on December 6, 1994
1. Introduction
The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.
2. Food
In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.
a) When the humans are eating, make sure more...
While on duty a police man spots a speeding car, so he follows it. The man driving the car sees the policeman and drives even more faster. The police man manages to stop the speeding driver and asks him why he was riding so fast. The man replied,"I thought that you were the same police man who ran away with my wife. I don't want my wife back so, I tried to get away from you".
Kobe Bryant was recently excused from jury duty. Prosecutors were worried that during deliberations, he would refuse to give up the floor.