Dynamite Jokes / Recent Jokes

A large, powerfully built guy meets a woman at a bar, and after several
drinks, they go back to his place. As they are getting ready for the
act,
he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms, and says,
"See
that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says,
referring
to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of
dynamite!"
She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs
her
purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she
is
able to leave, and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite, and such a short fuse, I was
afraid you were about to blow!"

There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing. His friend, the game warden, couldn't figure out how he did it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with his friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden out to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a stick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it, and threw it into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fish floated to the top. The game warden said, "That's illegal, you can't do that." The fisherman goes, "Really?" He then lights another stick of dynamite and throws it into the water. The dynamite exploded, and a dozen more fish floated to the top. The game warden said, "Stop that now, and take this boat back to shore... I'm going to have to give you a citation and confiscate all your gear." The fisherman said,"Oh, really?" He then lights another stick of dynamite, throws it into the game warden's lap, and said "You gonna sit there and keep more...

An old country boy pulls up to a bait shop with a stringer full of fish. A man, noticing the stringer, asks him where he caught all the fish. He said he was going fishing again, tomorrow, and if the guy wanted to come with him he'd show him where he caught the fish.
The next morning the two men meet at the bait shop and head out for the lake. They row out to the middle of the water and the good ole boy pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and throws it in the water. All kinds of fish float to the surface and he starts pulling them in the boat.
His buddy is shocked! He says, "You know, what you're doing is not only improper but highly illegal. I just want you to know you could receive a big fine or maybe even go to jail. I know what I'm talking about because I work for the wildlife dep't and I'm what they call a 'game warden'." The good old boy takes out another stick of dynamite, lights it and sticks it in his friend's hand and says, "You gonna fish or just more...

Two Hunters from Michigan (a true story). This is from a radio program, a true report of an incident in Michigan:
A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator SUV for $42, 500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in the winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen over. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new Vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.
Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.
So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the more...

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says,' See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!' She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs,' See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!' She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks,' Why are you in such a hurry to go?' She replies,' With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!'

Santa and his wife, Jeeto, were living in a farm up in the hills. One day, Santa found that the hole under the outhouse is full. He tells Jeeto that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.
Jeeto says, "Why don't you go ask Banta down the road?"
So, Santa goes down to Banta's house and asks him, "My outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."
Banta tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the shit all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."
Santa thanks him, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.
He more...

A game warden spots a young lad walking down the street with 30 large catfish in his arms. He stops and asks the young fellow where he managed to catch all those fish. The young boy points and says just over yonder. The game warden says "boy, I've been fishing around these parts for years....and I never got those many fish... can I go fishing with you tomorrow? The boy gladly says yes and asked the warden to join him first thing in the morning by a certain area.
The next morning the warden and the young boy head out. The boy rows the boat out 50 feet and then stops. The warden asks what he was doing and the boy says this is where we are going to fish. The warden says I've fished here before and never got many fish. It was then that the little boy pulls a stick of dynamite out of a box, lights it and throws it out into the water. A loud explosion follows and many dead fish float to the surface. The game warden is amazed and angry and says to the boy, that he can't do that and more...