Easy Jokes / Recent Jokes

After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11
Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at least a minute. Lisa Coburn, age 9
Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. Nick Coleman, age 9
Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and I asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk. Bruce Wagner, age 13
A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist, but the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age 14

three men were stranded on an island and found a tribe of cannibals and the chief hits them with a club. they wake up to find that they have been tied up and the chief says that they can live only if they can find 10 pieces of the same fruit and shove it up their ass with no expression on their face. this will be easy they all said.2 hours later the first man comes back with straberries 1 2 3 4 5 and on the 6th one he burst out in pain so he was eaten the next man comes with huckle berries easy he thinks 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 and on the 10th one he bursts out in lauhter so he was eaten later they meet up in heaven and the 1st man asks why he laughed and he said i couldnt help it i saw the next man coming with coconuts.

Four married guys go golfing over the weekend and on Sunday during the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued. First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?" Fourth Guy: "That's easy! I just set my alarm for 5: 30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke and say,' Golf Course or Intercourse?' So she says,' Wear your sweater.'"

Here's an easy game to play.
> Here's an easy thing to say.
>
> If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
> And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort.
> And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort.
> Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
> If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
> And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
> And your data is corrupted' cause the index doesn't hash.
> Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
>
> You can't say this?
> What a shame sir!
> We'll find you another game, sir!
>
> If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
> Says the network is connected to the button on the mouse,
> But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
> That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
> And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of more...

1. "You get this one, next round is on me."
(We won't be here long enough to get another round.)
2. "I'll get this one, next one is on you."
(Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)
3. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
(I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.)
4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female)
(I'm easy.)
5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male)
(I'm gay.)
6. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
(I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)
7. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?)
8. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
(You are paying more attention to your more...

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.
"They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?""Ten," she replied."What are their names?" he asked."LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered."They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?""Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in.""And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?""I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered."But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked."Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"