Easy Jokes / Recent Jokes

It isn't easy to keep your mouth and your mind open at the same time.

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, How many children do you have?
Eight, she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert and Robert," she answered.
"They're all named Robert?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'Robert,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'Robert, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied." What are their names?" he asked." LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered." They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call' LeRoy,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say,' LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered." But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked." Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York.
The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him.
The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.
"I'll only marry you under three conditions." she said.
"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.
"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."
Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"
The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.
"Second, I want more...

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football.
5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer.
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night, and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know when you're the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't more...

Goebel`s Second Law Of Useless Difficulty: The fastest way to get something done is to determine that it isn`t worth doing.

Goebel`s Law Of Computer Support: Troubleshooting a computer over the telephone is like having sex through a hole in a board fence. It can be done, but it is neither easy nor pleasant.

Goebel`s Law Of Software Compatibility: A statement of absolute functional equivalence made in bold print followed by several pages of qualifications in fine.

Goebel`s Theorem Of Software Schedules: Always multiply a software schedule by pi. This is because you think you`re going in a straight line but always end up going full circle.

Goebel`s Law Of Product Introductions: A future product release date does not say when a product will be introduced. All it says it that you don`t have a chance of seeing it before that time.

Goebel`s Observation On Utopia: If everyone believed in Peace, they would immediately begin fighting over more...

A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. So he calls him Irving. He can't wait to show him off to his neighbor, so when the neighbor finally comes over, the guy calls Irving into the house, bragging about how smart he is.
The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation.
The guy points to the newspaper by the door and commands "Okay, Irving, Fetch!"
Immediately, the dog climbs on to the couch and sits, his tail wagging furiously. Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile disappears. He starts to frown and puts on a sour face.
Looking up at his master, he whines, "You think this is easy, wagging my tail all the time? Oy... This constant wagging of the tail puts me in such pain, you should only know! And you think it's easy eating that junk you call designer dog food. Forget it...it's too salty and it gives me gas. And also the runs, but what do more...