Easy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rather awkward and shy young man asked one of his more experienced friends how he was always so successful with the ladies.
"It's easy," explained his friend. ""The trick is to get the conversation rolling. I always start with one of three topics: family, food or philosophy. Any girl in the world is bound to have something to say about one of those subjects. Once you get her talking, it's easy from there."
The next night, the young man had a date, but in the first five minutes a complete silence had fallen over the table. Finally, remembering his friend's advice, he cleared his throat and began, "So, do you have a brother?"
"No," his date replied.
Noting that hadn't gone very well and his date hadn't offered any kind of follow-up information, he thought perhaps he would have better luck with food. "So, do you like Italian food?" he asked.
"No," replied his date.
Now desperate, he thought and more...

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best ans wer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this more...

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered.
"They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

Mallu wants to clean his well
He asked his friend what is the best way to get in the well for cleaning.
Freind said use a ladder, it is very easy to get in the well.
So using a ladder mallu start to climb down to the well, Got slipped and fell in the water.
Mallu said I never thought using ladder will be so fast and easy to reach the bottom of the well!!!!!!!!!

The three-time crook felt a wave of panic come over him as he surveyed the jury in the courthouse. Positive he'd never beat the murder rap, he managed to get hold of one of the kindlier-looking jurors, and bribe her with his life savings to go for a manslaughter verdict.

Sure enough, at the close of the trial the jury declared him guilty of manslaughter. Tears of gratitude welling up in his eyes, the young man had a moment with the juror before being led off to prison. "Thank you, thank you-how'd you do it?"

"It wasn't easy," she admitted. "They all wanted to acquit you."

Why is it easy for chicks to talk? Because talk is cheep!

Positive Thinking for Christmas
Lately there's been a lot of negative images and about Christmas conjured up. Usually it's from TV, movies, books, and the Internet. This makes for a sad, dreary Christmas, just the opposite, as what it should be. To cheer up the dreariness, caused by these negatives, the following list should be used. First is listed the negative idea or image. Then is the positive thinking needed to replace those negatives. So with positive thinking everyone will have a Joyous and Happy Christmas Season.
1. Negative
On TV and in movies Santa Claus shown as a drunk being hauled of to jail.
Positive
Think of how easy it is to get a bicycle, instead of your usual lump of coal, by mugging Santa.
2. Negative
How Santa might not get to your house before morning, because of a blizzard.
Positive
How fast the sled and reindeer can fly with a 60 mile per hour tail wind.
3. Negative
Elfs going on strike and there are no toys in the more...