Easy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The officeworker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied." What are their names?" he asked." LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered." They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them tocome in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call' LeRoy,' and they allcome running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say,' LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered." But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked." Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

Three Nuns died in a car crash.
They met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells the Nuns that they will each have to answer a skill testing question before they are admitted beyond The Gates. They all agree to this, feeling confident they have lived good lives.
St. Peter to 1st Nun: "Who was the first Man on Earth?"
1st Nun: "Oh! That's an easy one. Adam."
The Gates open up.
St. Peter to 2nd Nun: "Who was the first Woman on Earth?"
2nd Nun: "Oh! That's an easy one. Eve."
The Gates open up.
St. Peter to 3rd Nun: "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
3rd Nun: "Oh, my! That's a hard one!!

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it." This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture shows his PROFILE." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this more...

I'd graduated from college and moved back home. I spent my days sleeping and my nights were all spent with my buddies out chasing girls and partying. In short, I was just taking it easy and didn't have any specific goals in mind.

My grandfather stopped by and asked what my plans were.

"Well, Grandpa, I thought I'd just take it easy for awhile."

"Son, I think it's time for you to settle down and start looking for a job. Before you know it, you're going to be 30."

"But, Grandpa, I'm closer to 20 than 30. I've still got eight years before I'm 30!"

"Yes, but when are you going to be 20 again?"

Recent Generations Compared:
1940 generation 1965 generation 1990 generation
_______________ _______________ _______________
International Defeat of Hitler, Opposed Vietnam Changed channel
Achievement Communism War to MTV
Judicial Legal system should Legal system should Legal system should
idea support society change society destroy society
Technological Moon landing Personal computer Beeper, car alarm
highlight
Highbrow Classical Jazz Easy listening
Music
Lowbrow Big bands Rock Rap
Music
Civil rights Martin Luther King Malcolm X Damian Williams
leader
Hero Eisenhower John Kennedy Madonna
Economic Raise 60's generation Develop Support 60's
achievement Sophisticated generation
Tastes retirement
Fav' drug Cigarettes Marijuana Crack
Drug most Marijuana Crack Cigarettes
hated
Economic Work hard - get ahead Let your parents/ Prepare for employment
philosophy government support at more...

1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and. .. you won't have to check in as' Mrs. Cucumber'.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.
15. A cucumber won't ask:' Am I first?'
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.
17. more...

Yo mama's like...

- Yo mama's like a T. V., even a two-year-old could turn her on. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more. - Yo mama's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. - Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine... five cents a blow. - Yo mama's like Chinese food... sweet, sour, and cheap. - Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. - Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. - Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. - Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. - Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit. - Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. - Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. - Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. - Yo mama's more...