Eat Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth.
You understand a lot of Tagalog, but can hardly speak it. Make fun of your parents' accents. As a child, you were totally embarrassed to eat spaghetti with sliced hot dogs in it. Now, there is absolutely no way you will eat spaghetti without the hot dogs. In fact, you suggest to your non-Filipino friends that hot dogs make spaghetti taste better. As a child, you hated being Filipino. Now, you wear Pinoy Pride T-shirts. You still wear Tsinelas (slippers). You still take off your shoes when entering a house. (Southern California) You've ever lived in Baldwin Park, Carson, Cerritos, the ghetto part of L. A., West Covina, Walnut or Diamond Bar. (Northern California) You've ever lived in Union City. You don't steal things (e. g., towels, soaps, tissues, cups) from hotel rooms like your parents did. And when you do take things, you deny that the action is not a Filipino trait. You don't care if a T-shirt was made in the Philippines or the USA. As long as it has a designer label on it, more...
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................
1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.
2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.
3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300, 000 in the bank, but still drives a' 76 Monaro/Kingswood.
4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400, 000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.
5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75, 000 Club Sport.
6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.
7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.
8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall more...
What do cannibals eat for breakfast? Buttered host.
: Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Keep honking while I reload.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
So... who lit the fuse on your tampon?
Support cannibalism -- EAT ME!
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
If you more...
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll through a cane chair."
"So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck."
I'm thirsty:
"I'm dry as a dead dingo's donger."
"I'm drier than a nuns nasty."
"I'm dry as a f**k with no foreplay."
"I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat."
"I'm as dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards."
"I'm drier than an Arab's fart."
I need to go for a pee:
"Gonna drain me dragon."
"My back teeth are floating."
"Need to syphon the python."
"Takin' the kids to the pool."
"I got to take a snakes more...