"You Know You Are A Second Generation Pinoy If:" joke

You understand a lot of Tagalog, but can hardly speak it. Make fun of your parents' accents. As a child, you were totally embarrassed to eat spaghetti with sliced hot dogs in it. Now, there is absolutely no way you will eat spaghetti without the hot dogs. In fact, you suggest to your non-Filipino friends that hot dogs make spaghetti taste better. As a child, you hated being Filipino. Now, you wear Pinoy Pride T-shirts. You still wear Tsinelas (slippers). You still take off your shoes when entering a house. (Southern California) You've ever lived in Baldwin Park, Carson, Cerritos, the ghetto part of L. A., West Covina, Walnut or Diamond Bar. (Northern California) You've ever lived in Union City. You don't steal things (e. g., towels, soaps, tissues, cups) from hotel rooms like your parents did. And when you do take things, you deny that the action is not a Filipino trait. You don't care if a T-shirt was made in the Philippines or the USA. As long as it has a designer label on it, you'll wear it. You like shopping in small Filipino markets or the 99 Ranch, but you can't stand the way it smells in there. As a child, you cursed your mom for feeding you Sinigang and Adobo all the time, instead of eating at McDonald's once in awhile. Now, it's a special treat when your mom cooks Sinigang or Adobo. You know how to cook at least one Filipino dish. You know what fried Tuyo smells like. You don't go to church anymore. Diniguan ("black chocolate" dish) still grosses you out. You still exhibit "tightwad" traits like buying a small soda (instead of medium or large which costs 20 cents more) when it's all you can drink. You'd rather wash dishes with your hands than use your dishwasher because it wastes more water. You still like Lumpia and Pansit. You say Paanset (American pronunciation) instead of Pansit. You still like Lechon but the pig's head still freaks you out. You still find Balut disgusting. You think you're all that when you go back to the Philippines because you don't speak with an accent, your skin is fairer than the natives', and you have cool clothes - not hand-me-downs from relatives in the States. You think all Filipino (VHS) movies are funny, even when the movie is a drama. You actually believe that you could become a Filipino movie star back home because you think you're better looking than the Filipinos back home. You can't stand to look at pictures of you as a young child because you looked like a Fob. (Hey, you were a Fob! You're disappointed at American parties where the only food to eat are small finger-type foods with names you can't pronounce. (How about those vegetable sticks? Yuk!) You're even more disappointed when there is meat being served, but no rice! You eat Kentucky Fried Chicken with rice. Screw the biscuits! You still call your grandparents Lolo and Lola. You dare not bring Balikbayan boxes with you when traveling back home! One suitcase will do just fine. Sometimes your Filipino accent comes out accidentally and you get embarrassed about it. Your non-Filipino friends and coworkers ask you if you've ever eaten dog. Your college major was in computers, engineering, nursing or business. Filipinos don't major in philosophy, literature, history, sociology and other liberal arts. There's no money in it! You think that President Marcos is still the Philippine president. Do you know who the current president is? You still eat Pandesal with butter, Vienna sausage, or eggs. Your friends and coworkers don't call you by your Filipino nickname (e. g., Popoy, Bong, Jhun Jhun), although your family members and relatives still do. Your parents' house still have the furniture you grew up with. Although there are now creative ways to eat Spam, you still like it the classic Filipino way - fried with rice and ketchup. Same with corned beef except without the ketchup.

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