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Biblical Questions and Answers

Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

Q. more...

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God...
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man', Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll be vainglorious and he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt. I'll create him in such in a way that he will love you; He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds more...

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!""What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above." Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a' man', Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow." more...

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."

God and the ComputerIn the beginning there was the computer. And God typed: %>Let there be light! #Please login. %>login God #Password?. %>Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %>Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %>Technocrat #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %>Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %>Create light #Done %>Run heaven_and_earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2. %>Let there be firmament in the midst of waters dividing the waters which are under and above the firmament #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %>Create firmament #Done. %>Run firmament #And God created the heaven. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2. #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. %>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry more...

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson brought the house down.
Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel and the prodigal son came in last.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were definitely put out.
Q. What is one of the first things Adam and Eve did after they were kicked but?
A. They raised a little Cain.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children to explain why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. "Your mother ate us out of house and home."
Q. What more...

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah-he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter-she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A. Nebuchadnezzar-he was on grass for seven years.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson-he brought the house down.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A. They raised Cain.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home
Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David-he rocked Goliath more...