Editor Jokes / Recent Jokes

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor.
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."
The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!"
The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . )"

"Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the men's
magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural,
since the hair between your legs is black."
The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's fingers.
"What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded. She smiled sweetly and
said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've
only been banged once."

The editor of a small weekly newspaper, in a rage over several government bills that had recently been passed, ran a scathing editorial under the headline: "half of OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS." Many prominent local politicians were outraged, and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement. He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline: "HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS."

An editor is someone who has earned enough points to "unlock" certain features of the website. Editors have certain degrees of ability to modify the jokes on this website. Here is a list of the requirements and privileges given to those who meet the requirements. You do not need to ask to become an editor. If you meet the requirements you automatically have those privileges.(Note: You may not get those privileges if you exhibit bad behavior toward the website.)
Level 0: (100 Points) You can report and verify duplicate jokes.
Level 1: (500 Points) You can suggest and verify corrections to jokes in order to improve spelling, grammar and other errors.
Level 2: (1000 Points) Your votes on jokes count as double (but you still only get 1 point for a vote)
Level 3: (4000 Points) Your votes on jokes count as triple (but you still only get 1 point for a vote)

A cub reporter covered a story about an attact on a woman by an escapee from a mental assylum. He returned with the story and a headline of "Woman raped, mental patient escapes".

The editor told him the headline needed a little punch to grab the reader's attention. After a while he came back with "Fiend Fucks and Flees".

The editor told him it was a family paper and they couldn't use a headline like that, go back and try again. Much later he came back with "Nut screws and bolts".