Editor Jokes / Recent Jokes

A few days ago, we were trying to explain to a MS-DOS user
how the VI editor works. Here's what we come up with:
Vi is an editor with two distinguished modes:
In Edit mode you have all the capabilities of grandma's
typewriter right under your finger tips! You can make the
very same mistakes as you did with granny's typewriter
(and your possibilities to correct them are about the same).
That's why Vi was provided with a second mode, namely the
_Beep_ mode. On a vt100 terminal or compatible you can
get into Beep mode by pressing an arrow or escape function
key. In this powerful Beep mode even the more innocuous
keystroke will promptly produce a Beep sound. As an example,
arrows, return, blank spaces and most capital letters will
produce beeps in the most arbitrary places of the screen.
Just think about the whole world of possibilities that
this mode gives to you:
-Compose a monotonic symphony or rap while editing more...

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that theobituary for her recently deceased husband is published. Afterthe editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read' Fred Brown died'." Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that thereis a 7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, "In that case,' Fred Browndied: 1983 Pick-up for sale'."

Dear Editor I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber. My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs. Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death. I love this girl very much and want to marry her. My problem is this: Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft? Sincerely,
Larry

On rare circumstances the behavior of a user of this site is deemed so inappropriate that they will not be allowed to become an editor even with the correct number of points or even if they were already an editor when they had the bad behavior.
Bad behavior includes such things as registering multiple fake accounts, submitting jokes that are not jokes, or that are abusive to other users of the website, or submitting false duplicate reports or misusing the joke-correction functionality of this website.

Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model, the editor from themen's magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hairisn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black." The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor'sfingers. "What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded. She smiled sweetlyand said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? Andthey've only been banged once."

A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarjis coach was jerking heavily. This made him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the event, the next day in the meeting, his first point towards improvement of railway department was: "There should not be last coach in any train."

A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries."
Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.'"