Edna Jokes

Edna hears the car drive up, then a loud clatter as it hits the garbage cans. Car door slams, some cussing, then the garage door opens, slams. Suddenly more crashing and clattering and cussing, then Pete enters the house with his golf clubs, cussing and scowling.
"What's wrong, dear? Did you have a bad day on the golf course?" Edna asked.
"Yeah, what a rotten day! What a lousy round of golf! Pete groaned. "I only hit two good balls all day, and I wouldn't have hit them if I hadn't stepped on the rake in the garage!"

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable. The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Edna!
Edna who?
Edna the class!

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.For 50 years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying.One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice."What's the $82,500 for?" he asked."Oh, well that's the money I've made selling the doilies."

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to more...