Educated Jokes / Recent Jokes

Wit is educated insolence.

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THE MALE more...

One day there is a well-educated man sitting in a redneck bar reading a book. A Redneck happens to wander over to him and asks, "Whatcha there reading Mister?"
The educated man replies, "It's a book about logic".
Confused, the redneck replies "Logic? What's logic?"
The educated man explains to the man, "Logic is the ability to come to a conclusion knowing only one fact. For example, do you own a weed whacker?"
The Redneck shouts, "Hell yeah I own a weed whacker!"
So the educated man continues, "Well, if you have a weed whacker, and I know you have a weed whacker, I know you have a lawn. If I know you have a lawn I know you have a house. If you have a house, demographically speaking I can deduce that you are a white male, 35-50 yrs old, and a heterosexual. Therefore, by knowing that you have a weed whacker I know that you are straight. Am I correct?"
The redneck responds flabbergasted "Hell yeah more...

What does an educated owl say? Whom.

One village man had a daughter. He was a very rich person but unfortunately not much educated. Finally he found a suitable partner for his daughter and agreed to give a big dowry for his future son-in-law. He was also from a rich family and well educated and speaking english.
On the wedding day brides father wanted to make a speech in English to show his proudness to his new relatives, so he invited to his friend to make a speech during the lunch.
His friend was a retired police sergent, he doesn't know any english but he was pretending. There was nothing to do anyway he made a speech in English. After his speech all (new relatives) began to run. This was the speech,
" Ladies and gentlemen, you are committing act of violence to private and public property. If you do not stop this I compell to order open fire, thank you"
This is what he was learned in police school.