Affectionate Jokes

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends.

The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when therecame the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke awayat once, eyes wide with alarm." Heavens," she cried, "it's my husband! Quick, jump out the window." The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the window, then demurred. "I can't," he said, "we're on the thirteenth floor." "For heaven's sake," cried the young lady in exasperation,"is this a time to be superstitious?"

Easy code system to communicate with other cat owners and with the animal clinic.
Sex:
XFemale, spayed, no interest.
X+Female, spayed, but still interested.
X++Female, intact, but not particularly excitable.
X+++I am a kitten factory.
YMale, neutered, no interest.
Y+Male, neutered, but still interested.
Y++Male, intact, but not particularly excitable.
Y+++I would go through a burning building to get at a female in heat.
Size ("largeness"):
L-I fit easily into your shirt pocket.
L-I can curl up in two cupped hands.
L-I'm somewhere between kitten-sized and average.
LI'm average cat size, just right for your lap.
L+I'm starting to slip off the side of your lap.
L++I'm large enough to make a German Shepherd think twice.
L+++People sometimes mistake me for a mountain lion.
Weight:
W-I'm so thin that you can count my bones.
W-I'm slim, but healthy.
WI'm an average cat, not too thin and not too more...

What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.

The young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when therecame the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke awayat once, eyes wide with alarm."Heavens," she cried, "it's my husband! Quick, jump out the window."The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the window, then demurred. "I can't," he said, "we're on the thirteenth floor.""For heaven's sake," cried the young lady in exasperation,"is this a time to be superstitious?"