Election Jokes / Recent Jokes
...and I see that the Democrats have taken the House, swept all the major elections here in New York, elected Massachusetts' first black governor and could very well take the Senate, too.
Which all explains a personal mystery today, because I haven't cum in my sleep in maybe thirteen years.
Hispanics may be the swing vote in several of Tuesday's close elections. In an attempt to woo Latino voters, candidates like Heather Wilson (R-New Mexico) are learning to speak Spanish and behead chickens.
I don’t vote. There, I said it. I don’t know the issues. I don’t really understand the definition of Republican or Democrat. I do know that if I look up the word "oxymoron" I’ll see “honest politician.”
I don’t ever get to affect my life by voting. Where’s the vote on lower rent? Where’s the vote on the subway fare decrease? Can we get a politician to give us an audit to the penny as to where all of the money goes from subway fares? How does that money not pay for everything? When do I get to vote on checking the green cards of taxi drivers? Is there a vote on parade and street fair elimination? Is anyone working on more stringent laws against homeless people sleeping or begging or (god forbid) singing on the subway? Can we vote to give Isaiah Thomas and the Knicks the death penalty?
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The NAACP on Monday announced that on Election Day, it will monitor voting in 10 states (including Florida and Ohio) by sending observers to voting stations in black districts.
When asked about the move, Florida Governor Jeb Bush said, "I don't why they're sending people here. Florida doesn't have any voting stations in black districts."
"Please don't vote for me just because I look like an Osmond."
McCain, The Democrats, nightmare elections, Obama, Palin