Electric Jokes / Recent Jokes

Secret tips for making a marriage last... My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last... 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, goodfood and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! "So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake." 8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't more...

A man was sitting in the electric chair. The executioner said, "Look, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to throw the switch in a minute." The man said, "Do me a favor and throw it out the window!"

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common? A: Theyre intended for children, but its the men who usually end up playing with them.

You own two refrigerators, and one is just used for storing Kimchee. She gets upset if you refer to the above as the Kimchee Box. She gets upset if you put anything other than Kimchee in the Kimchee Box. She lacks common sense, or for the politically correct: Faulty Logic. You have more than one type of Kimchee. She assures you that the meat bought in the open market is better, even if it still has the AAFES tag on it. Believes that any product bought in the open market is better, even if it still has the AAFES tag on it. She has 101 uses for Soju. She uses Soju as a cleaning product. She uses Soju for medical purposes. (Disinfectant.) She will go to an American restaurant to eat Korean Food and insists that it tastes better than served in a Korean restaurant. She believes wearing platform shoes is sexy. She wears a mini skirt in the winter, then complains that it is cold. The main ingredient in the food you eat at home is garlic. She eats non-Korean food with Kimchee. She won't eat more...

"Pretty Soon You Won't Be Able To Buy A Good 10 Cent Cigar."

"I Read The Other Day Where Some Scientist Thinks It's Possible To Put A Man On The Moon By The End Of The Of The Century. They Even Have Some Fellows They Call Astronauts Preparing For It Down In Texas."

"Did You See Where Some Baseball Player Just Signed A Contract For $75, 000 A Year Just To Play Ball? It Wouldn't Surprise Me If Someday They'll Be Making More Than The President."

"Do You Suppose Television Will Ever Reach Our Part Of The Country?"

"I Never Thought I'd See The Day All Our Kitchen Appliances Would Be Electric. They Are Even Making Electric Typewriters Now."

"It's Too Bad Things Are So Tough Nowadays. I See Where A Few Married Women Are Having To Work To Make Ends Meet."

"It Won't Be Long Before Young Couples Are Going To Have To Hire Someone To Watch Their Kids So They Can Both more...

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. “If you get a train, ” I would tell each one, “you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay? ”
The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, “Another train. ”

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train... cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train... but you're to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She heard her more...