Electricity Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.
They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Pipe down now, Satan. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments.
They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.
But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every bad word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started more...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, more...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's more...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument
about who was better on his computer. They had been going at
it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the
bickering.
Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a
test that will run two hours and I will judge who does
the better job."
So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and
typed away. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.
They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They downloaded. They
did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every
known job. About ten minutes before their time was up,
lightning flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain
poured, and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan
stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word
known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them
rebooted their computers. Satan started searching
frantically, more...

I took a baby shower.

I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.

I washed mud, off of mud.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

I've never seen electricity, so I don't pay for it. I write right on the bill, "I'm sorry, I haven't seen it all month."

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.

The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer". more...

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So, Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent e-mail.
They sent out e-mail with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did some genealogy reports.
They made cards.

They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightening suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the under world. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their more...

Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They did spreadsheets.

They wrote reports.

They sent faxes.

They sent e-mail.

They sent out e-mail with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did some genealogy reports.

They made cards.

They did every known job. But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known to man.

Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted computers.

Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! more...