Elephant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Definition of an elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle."Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks."When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied."Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe."Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

A gorilla was walking thru' a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared,' Who's the king of the jungle?', and the deer replied,' Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared,'Who's the king of the jungle?', of course, the zebra replied,' You are, master.' The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant.' Who's the king of the jungle?', he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said,' Ok, ok, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer!'

What did the elephant say to the famous detective? Its ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock!

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river
deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites
the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same
river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that
bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can,
sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the
giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no
reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!"
exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now.Doctor: "What happened to you?"He says: "I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!"Doctor: "But I don't understand. Elephant penises are very narrow andcouldn't cause that much damage!"He says "Aah but you see doctor, he fingered me first!"

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, itd be very difficult to aim.