Elephant Jokes / Recent Jokes

There are three kinds of mathematicians: those who can count and those who
cannot.
A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say
that on the average he feels fine.
Ya' hear about the geometer who went to the beach to catch the rays and became a
tangent?
A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a
doughnut?
97.3% of all statistics are made up.
My geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes obtuse, but he was always
right!
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions!
Q & A
Q. Did you hear about the statistition?
A. Probably...!
Q. What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of choice?
A. Zorn's Lemon!
Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?
A. Elephant banana sine theta in a direction mutually perpendicular to the two
as determined by the right hand rule!
Q. What do you get if you cross more...

What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?

There was this really annoying elephant named Izzy who loved to brag.
One day she went up to a camel, Mell, and said, "I am the most beautiful animal you'll ever see!!"
Mell looked at her like she was crazy and said no you're not!
Izzy said, "Well, I look better than you because I don't have two boobs on my back!"
Mell replied, "True, very true. But at least I don't have a dick on my face."

Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments. Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant? A: Wipe it off! Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants? A: None of the offspring survived. Q: How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she's lying down in tall grass? A: VERY attractive. Q: How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you're yard? A: The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag! Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road? A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung). Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road? A: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!". Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? A: Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes |elephant| |grape| 1 Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber? A: Zero - a mountain climber is a scaler. Q: What do you more...

A gorilla was walking thru' a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared, 'Who's the king of the jungle?', and the deer replied, 'Oh, you are, Master.'The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared,'Who's the king of the jungle?', of course, the zebra replied, 'You are, master.'The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant. 'Who's the king of the jungle?', he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, 'Ok, ok, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer!'

Why does an elephant wear sneakers? So that he can sneak up on mice!

Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:
The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant.
The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari.
The Welsh book - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.
The American book - How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants.
The Japanese book - How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants.
The Greek book - How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money.
The Finnish book - What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People.
The German book - A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-
6.
The Icelandic book - Defrosting an Elephant.
The Swiss book - Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went With His Elephants.
The Canadian book - Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
The Swedish book - How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.