Elephant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why is an elephant big, gray, and wrinkly?
Because if it were small, white, and smooth it would be an asprin.

A man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an elephant, in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot.
The man very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the thorn from its foot.
The elephant begins to walk away, then turns and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
The elephant then continues on its way. "I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember me?" the man muses to himself.
It is a few years later, and the man is at a circus back in the States.
He notices that one of the elephants keeps looking at him, almost like it KNOWS him.
The man wonders, "Could this be that elephant I helped so long ago?" He decides to get a closer look.
With the elephant still giving him the staredown, the man moves in closer, getting right up in front of the elephant. They lock eyes. A knowing look seems to cross the elephant's face.
It reaches down... picks the man up more...

Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? A: Slow clowns.

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I'm having trouble getting my penis erect. Can you help me?". After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you except to try an experimental treatment." Jack asks, "What is the treatment?" "Well," the Doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."
A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of more...

Whats grey and never needs ironing? A drip dry elephant!

Why do the elephants have short tails? Because they cant remember long stories!

'We're going to play elephants and circuses,' said a little boy at kindergarten,' Do you want to join in?'' I'd love to,'replied the teacher.' What do you want me to do?'' You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts! '