Elevator Jokes / Recent Jokes

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered theelevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)."She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. more...

A man and a woman are in an elevator. All of a sudden the elevator stops and the fire alarm goes off. The woman starts to have a break down and say to the man, "I wish I could feel like a woman one last time." The man automatically rips his shirt off throws it to the floor and says, "now fold it"!

Yo Mama is like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day!

During the winter of 1970-71 I worked as a janitor at a county courthouse in Upstate New York (it was Binghamton for those who care for the specifics). One of my tasks was to run the elevator - an old manual one with a lever to make it go up and down and not many safety features so you could stop it between floors for the fun of it.
Here is the sign I placed in that elevator during the holiday season:
"We wish you felicitations concomitant with your observance of the season and many propitious initions during the forthcoming twelvemonth."

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervouslyknocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and wasas beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't youplay with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderfultricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if youmake a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rollingover. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through-- and over the balcony railing to the ground 40 floors down. Just then Paul's date walked out. "Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" "To tell the the truth, " he replied, "he seemed a littledepressed to me."

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervouslyknocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and wasas beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't youplay with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderfultricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if youmake a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rollingover. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through- and over the balcony railing to the ground 40 floors down.Just then Paul's date walked out. "Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" "To tell the the truth, " he replied, "he seemed a littledepressed to me."