Elizabeth Jokes / Recent Jokes

Then: Long Hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

Then: Keg.
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid Rock.
Now: Acid Reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.

Then: Growing pot.
Now: Growing pot belly.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints, aching joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with Fidel.

Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed more...

The Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and the Sri Lankan president died and went to hell.
The Queen Elizabeth said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there.... she called and talked for about 5 minutes... then she said: well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: five million dollars... five million dollars!!! she made him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair....
Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, me too I wanna call the united states, I wanna see how everybody is doing too... he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: ten million dollars..... ten million dollars!!!! he made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.....
The Sri Lankan president was extremely jealous too... he starts
screaming and screaming,, I wanna call Sri Lanka too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the more...

Old & New concerns for the baby boomers:

Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.

Then: Keg
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's hot.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.

Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
Now: Being caught by Hustler magazine.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed more...

Elizabeth Taylor was told by Jackson family members not to attend the funeral for Michael. Father Joe Jackson told reporters, " We didn't want that old bag dying here and ruining everything for us "

Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane. Everybody around greeted her. Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat. She saw our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting next to a vacant seat. She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice, "Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you." Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded, "Hi I am Balwinder. . Balls to you."

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5 minutes,
then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming,
"My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes,
then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars"
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too,
I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of more...

Isn't this the truth!... 1970: Long Hair2000: Longing for hair1970: The perfect high. 2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund. 1970: Keg. 2000: EKG. 1970: Acid Rock. 2000: Acid Reflux. 1970: Moving to California because it's cool. 2000: Moving to California because it's warm. 1970: Growing pot. 2000: Growing pot belly. 1970: Douglas Street bridge. 2000: Dental bridge. 1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents. 2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children. 1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. 1970: Seeds and stems. 2000: Roughage. 1970: Popping pills, smoking joints. 2000: Popping joints. 1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel. 2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity. 1970: Paar. 2000: AARP. 1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 2000: Being caught with Hustler magazine. 1970: Killer weed. 2000: Weed killer. 1970: Hoping for a BMW. 2000: Hoping for more...